I am a frequenter of reddit. I admire the collective brain power and different perspectives to problems. I have found many tried and tested answers for my problems, so I LOVE reddit!!! One of my absolute favorite groups is the financial independence one. I spend hours on this forum. Its educational, entertaining and communal. This story is probably the most shocking one by far.
The story goes like this:
“I’ve been on this FIRE journey since I was 18. I’ve done pretty well for myself so far and am on track to retire by 40. But, I royally fucked up this week. This is just a reminder to everyone who can hopefully learn from my mistakes: never, ever let people find out how much money you have. Hide it at all costs & don’t trust anyone. Also, I need advice.
My mom was in town the other day and, while I was at work, I let her chill at my apartment before an appointment she had. That morning, I was working on some papers for a visa application. For the application, I have to account for my current income and assets ($115k/yr, $525k) and also include copies of my account statements. Those papers were on my desk in my bedroom in plain sight.
I didn’t think about it until she called me yesterday and flat out told me that she saw the papers on my desk. Then, she started crying and told me in very clear terms that she expected help. She then laid out (in detail) all the financial problems that she and the rest of my family were having. I honestly didn’t know what to do or say so I just hung up.
Yes, because I am socially inept and can’t handle confrontation like that, I hung up… and ignored the next 4 calls and 5 texts she sent. I also ignored the calls from my siblings and aunt. So I am thinking that she talked to the rest of my family about this and told them that I am now ignoring her. $525k is basically an unlimited amount of money from her perspective and my family thought that I was just as poor as they are so, I get it? I understand how much of a shock that would have been for her. But, I wish I wasn’t so careless. I had no idea she would go snooping in my bedroom.
I don’t know what to do now. I don’t plan on ignoring my family forever and I can’t talk to any of my friends about this so…. what would you do? OR if anyone here has actually dealt with a situation like this, advice on a way forward is greatly appreciated. I just feel like I’ve now become the family bank, and everyone is going to constantly ask for a bailout.”
He is commendable! Starting at 18 and getting to where he is amazing!
Book recommendations:
What would you do? Should kids be financially responsible for their parents?
First, this man needs to set boundaries with his parents. Second, I read this and thought, why doesn’t he bail them out. In most cultures kids are financially responsible for their parents. In fact, it is considered an honor to take care of your parents. As I read through this and saw the comments my outlook was adjusted.
He commented:
“They make a bit more than average but spend like there is no tomorrow…. and make absolutely horrible decisions.”
Whether he lends them money or gives it to them, it would not matter. You can’t outearn stupid financial decisions. The only choice he has is to help them make better decisions. Any amount he gives will be a band aid fix.
You can read the full reddit page here:
